Do you know How?

May 15, 2014

The other night, I was scrolling Kina Grannis' youtube channel when the video "The LAST" of Wong Fu production was suggested. And because I'm very interested with Kina, I watched the video. As the story goes and as I slowly understood it, the memories of me with my past relationships flashed back. So I thought of this post.

I believe some of us have loved that way; the way described in that video. I, too, loved five guys: what, when, who, where, why.

He was this guy my relatives kept teasing me with. He was our neighbor. We were constantly teased and I admit, I fell for him. I don't know if he was really my first boyfriend since we really didn't have that question and answer. You know... the "will you be my girlfriend?" question ..." and the "yes" answer.

We lost our communication for almost 7 years and when we met again, we became good friends. We love the companionship, the jokes, the tears and laughter, the good and bad memories we have of each other... basically everything we shared together.

He had relationships here and there and so did I. People who knows us still teases us and say that we are perfect for each other. But as it was said in Wong Fu's video... Yeah, maybe we were perfect to eyes of other people but the timing was never perfect for us.

When we were matured enough to actually know what a relationship is... we were never single at the same time. And what we loved about each other was never enough to leave who we were with.


When I was so down because of the sudden lost of communication with What, When was there. When he needed someone to speak with, I was there. We were there for each other when our "flings" rejected us. We became us when we were both in the time of innocence , just like what was said in Wong Fu's video.

It was the time for curiosity, discovery and adventure. We sneak out to see each other. We call each other late at night talking non-sense stuff. We shared this teenage love we thought was forever. And now when I think of it and when I tried to find a photo of us together, I found out we never had one. That everything we had are now just plain memories; memories of a guy who once made me feel special again.


Who is that guy in the basketball court? That was the question I had in mind when I saw Who. He was a varsity player in the school I once went to. He was known to be a good player. And living in a country where basketball players are superstars... I wished to be his and him to be mine.

Funny how coincidences brought us to each other. Who would have thought that the girl who once wished for a popular basketball varsity was actually the girl who was good friends with his all time crush? Ooh thank God my friend was already taken.

Yes! I was there for the rebound bitches and I don't care. It felt like it was a dream come true. Who would let that chance go? Even though we started as me being a rebound, everything almost worked out except that we became too attached to each other to a point we already forget who were. We lost ourselves in the thought of having true love... we forgot we were too young to understand that.


I needed to find myself again. I had to grow up. I had to go back to the city I treat as my home.
I went to an old friend's house where I was introduced to new faces... where my best friend introduced her boyfriend. Being a best friend, I was almost always with them. But time came when my best friend had to leave. And when she left, Where and I were left together. We started as good friends and eventually, the feelings went beyond friendship.

The city we were in was where I learned how to speak English... where I learned how to play soccer... where I learned so many things... That city will forever be close to my heart for that was where I was raised. That is the city I love the most... and the city where I loved the most.


Why is it that every time we love, we get hurt? Why is it that when people come, they also go? It was the same question we had playing in our heads - me and Why.

We had so many similarities of despair and pain which probably what brought us together. We thought that if we know and experience the hurts of every relationship, we would be able to work everything out... that we would be stronger than before but you know, things happen. People change. And so do feelings. No matter how hard we try to ask why... some things are just hard to explain or understand and so I guess, we'll never know why.

Kina Grannis in the video was the 6th girl. I also had the SIXTH one. The LAST...


Unlike Kina, my Last wasn't really the last. I thought he was all of them because he made me understand "what" love truly meant. He was there "when" I started feeling unloved. He was this guy "who" actually introduced me properly to his parents and his family as his girlfriend. He brought me to places "where" we made many memories so unforgettable that I found it hard to move on.

Everything... everything seemed perfect: The family, our status in life (I was graduating and he was hired), the plans, the unconditional love... everything really seemed perfect. And until now, it confuses me... "Why" did he have to find someone else?

As I've said earlier... things happen for a reason... a reason we probably will never understand or probably would but it may take quite sometime. I honestly don't know. All I know is that... right now... he is the last. At least for now...

I'm now in the search for the next guy who I will call How.

Because he would be the guy who would teach me "how" to trust again. He "who" would make me believe and prove the reason "why" it never worked out with any of them. He who would take me to the same places "where" we would create better memories. That just "when" I thought I would grow old alone... he would kneel down to ask if he can be my "last?" while promising to show me "what" true love and forever really is.

Lucky are those who met their first and last love at the same time. But for some, it might really take a couple of people - six people or even more - before they get to finally meet or know their last person.

Well, I'm sure we all went through a similar or different love story but in the end, it would amaze us at how everything connects; how everything fell into its right places at the right time. :)

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